Tell me more about your erotic life, because I think it's important. As a sex-positive therapist working with couples in New York City, I am open to conventional partnerships as well as alternative lifestyles, identities, and gender expressions. Our differences are normal expressions of love. Sex and intimacy are topics that arise often during relationship counseling, and couples often wonder if it’s time to seek sexual counseling. I’ve included in this post some questions that might help you decide your path forward.

As a psychotherapist and coach in Manhattan, I treat clients struggling with a range of concerns, from stress and life challenges to recovery from addictions and trauma. Many have suffered developmental trauma(s) or single incident trauma and now have symptoms of PTSD negatively impacting many aspects of their lives, including personal relationships and work.

In order to understand EMDR, one needs to be clear about how trauma can affect the brain. When an individual experiences a traumatic event or multiple traumas they may develop what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD as a response to the overwhelming event(s). When this occurs, the brain fails to successfully process the trauma leaving it "stuck" or "frozen" in the central nervous system. This often leads to numbness, dissociation, severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, addictions, physical complaints and an inability to experience "safety." In everyday life, in the here and now, the body fails to recognize that the person is now safe and it reacts as though the danger is current and in present time, leaving the individual in a state of emotional and physical arousal.

EMDR therapy as a treatment, is unique because it facilitates the processing of trauma information that has become "stuck" in the nervous system. The various elements of EMDR therapy serves to rewire the brain, calm the nervous system and lessen anxiety and symptoms. It "uploads" a more corrective experience, moving the client from pain and danger to "I survived," "It wasn't my fault" or "I did all that I could" as examples.

If you’re curious about how EMDR psychotherapy can help you resolve trauma, negative experiences and other challenges, please enjoy this short YouTube video that includes the voices of patients who now experience freedom and hope as a result of their EMDR treatment. Not just for trauma resolution, EMDR psychotherapy is an effective treatment for a variety of concerns. You can learn more about EMDR, or find an EMDR therapist by visiting EMDRIA.

Are you wondering if EMDR Therapy is a good fit for your therapeutic needs? Whether you are new to therapy, or you’ve had experience with psychotherapy and would like to take your healing to the next level, what follows are some challenges that EMDR has been shown to successfully treat:

Holistic Psychotherapy is beneficial for people of all ages, and it’s never too late to begin developing healthier lifestyle habits. No matter your age, mental health issues can interfere with your wellbeing throughout your lifespan. Individuals and couples enter therapy with a unique set of challenges and goals. As a holistic psychotherapist with a private practice in NYC, I specialize in helping older adolescents, adults and couples who experience struggle in their day to day lives. My focus is to help you uncover the root cause of your struggle in psychotherapy, as holistic psychotherapists believe that this is the best path forward to support your mental health recovery. Let me explain the many ways therapy can help make your life better.

Psychotherapy offers the opportunity for an individual to better understand and change patterns of behavior, feelings, and relationships that are getting in the way of your functioning. Psychotherapy offers the opportunity for an individual to understand and change patterns of behavior, feelings, and relationships that are getting in the way of higher-functioning. Good therapy can enable you to have richer, fuller and more meaningful life experiences.

What Does Holistic Psychotherapy Do?

If traditional talk therapy has left you feeling discouraged with your healing progress, EMDR might be the solution that finally leads to symptom reduction. Many psychotherapists who are skilled with EMDR therapy are successfully working with their patients online using virtual EMDR. Many of us discovered that we could begin or continue EMDR Therapy virtually during the pandemic.

As a specialist in trauma therapy and an advanced level II EMDR practitioner in New York City, I have been helping patients heal and address challenges through online EMDR therapy. Many feel better after just a handful of sessions and will say “why didn’t my therapist tell me about this sooner?” Not everyone is trained in EMDR, but those who practice this modality know just how effective EMDR therapy is. EMDR is most commonly known to resolve PTSD and trauma. It’s also very effective for getting to the root cause of anxiety, depression, chronic sadness, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders, fears, phobias, grief, performance enhancement, and so much more.

EMDR therapy uses a process called Bilateral Stimulation to facilitate healing. Virtual EMDR therapists help patients process trauma using self-administered BLS by tapping on the knees, butterfly hug tapping or online software that stimulates rapid eye movement such as remotEMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) focuses on reducing the impact that episodic distress, anxiety, fear, depression, phobias, triggers, negative emotions and traumatic memories have on your life.

As a Manhattan-based licensed psychotherapist in private practice, I get this question a lot. What do all these acronyms after last names actually mean? And what do you need to find the very best NYC therapist for you and your healing goals? You are struggling right now and need to find high-quality mental health care in New York City, but it’s all so confusing. Your search for the right therapist can be intimidating and downright overwhelming. Should you work with a private therapist or should you sort through the group practices to find the best therapist for you? All those acronyms; all those modalities—getting started with therapy should be easier!

I’m sharing with you a trend that I’ve noticed, that you may not be aware of. Many group therapy practices charge standard psychotherapy fees and even high fees, and place you with a therapist trainee. This practice should be disclosed to you so you are fully informed about your care. When you are assigned to a therapist, you have a right to ask about their training and experience.

All therapists in training (in my field that’s an LMSW, until they reach LCSW designation) will undergo nearly 3 years of supervision or about 3000 mandatory practice hours. If you’re assigned to an LMSW, you’re working with a therapist who is being supervised as they work towards their hours. After a therapist in training has met this requirement, they are autonomous and can then work in private practice without supervision. If you work with a therapist undergoing supervision, your therapist or counselor will need to discuss your case at weekly meetings with their licensed, supervising therapist.

Some common reasons people reach out for therapy and counseling is to address their new or longstanding mental health challenges. Symptoms such as anxiety, depression, addiction, insomnia and lack of motivation are often so debilitating that they are unable to live the life they desire. In my experience, psychiatric medications are essential for many, and truly life saving. But for those who have not had success with traditional psychiatry, it’s worth considering the highly-effective natural solutions that are rarely offered in conventional medicine.

Many mental health symptoms are all indications that levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, GABA, and the catecholamines dopamine and norepinephrine (there are more) are low. This is otherwise known as neurotransmitter dysfunction or imbalance. There are four main neurotransmitters involved with mood and behavior, and they are: serotonin, GABA, endorphins and the catecholamines (dopamine/Norepinephrine). The main focus with Amino Acid Therapy in clinical practice is on the serotonin-catecholamine system. Low levels of each of these, lead to a very specific pattern of mental health symptoms. It’s important to know that there are many reasons why brains become depleted and imbalanced, such as, trauma, chronic stress, chronic pain, loss, poor nutrition, addiction, hormonal changes and genetic predisposition, and thankfully, there are effective and powerful ways to restore brain health.

Our bodies need amino acids to work properly, and they are crucial to metabolic function. Some amino acids are made by the body, and others come from your diet. Typically, when you consume a protein, your body breaks it down and what's left is the amino acid. Amino acids are precursors to neurotransmitters, and when these vital messengers are deficient or imbalanced, information is not relayed optimally in the brain, and symptoms arise. Amino acid therapy aims to heal and restore the brain to optimal functioning by supplementing what’s missing based on history, symptoms, behaviors and response to trial treatment.

Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.

This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In

(by Kim Seelbrede, originally posted on urbanzen.org)

The Healing Power of Self-Care for Nurses: A Reflection on Urban Zen Integrative Therapy at the NSNA Convention

As delicate snowflakes danced across the Utah sky, a sea of passionate and ambitious nursing students gathered in Salt Lake City for the 59th Annual National Student Nurses Association (NSNA) Convention. Beneath the buzz of clinical discussion and future-focused enthusiasm, a quieter and more essential invitation was extended to these frontline caregivers: to pause, to receive, and to restore.

In a serene space known as The Sanctuary—generously provided by Johnson & Johnson as part of their Campaign for Nursing’s Future—student nurses were welcomed into the calming embrace of Urban Zen Integrative Therapy (UZIT). It was here that many of them experienced, for the very first time, the profound impact of receiving care instead of providing it.

Nurses, Self-Neglect, and the Culture of Overgiving

The nursing profession is one of devotion, long hours, emotional labor, and unrelenting resilience. Nurses are celebrated as compassionate givers—but rarely taught the parallel art of receiving. In fact, many nurses internalize the idea that self-care is indulgent, or worse, selfish. As burnout and compassion fatigue become chronic conditions within the field, a new conversation must emerge: How do we care for the caretakers?

What many nurses are not taught in school—but urgently need—is the practical, embodied experience of self-care. Not a buzzword, not a spa day, but a deep nervous system reset. A return to being rather than constant doing. This is the heart of the Urban Zen Integrative Therapy model.

Creating a Healing Environment for Healing Professionals

Inside The Sanctuary, student nurses were guided through gentle restorative yoga poses, supported by skilled Urban Zen Integrative Therapists offering Reiki, essential oil therapy, and mindful breath awareness techniques. The results were immediate, visible, and profound. Stressed shoulders softened. Eyes welled with tears of release. Breathing slowed. Presence returned.

As one nurse quietly shared, “You’ve inspired me to take time for myself—to breathe and rest. I didn’t know how to do this.” Another student confided, “I feel blessed to have met you today. I’m finally able to be ‘in’ my body.”

These reflections speak to a deep and unmet need in the nursing profession: the need to feel safe enough to slow down and reconnect with the body. The need to be more than a set of hands. To feel held, witnessed, and restored.

Why Nurses Need More Than a Reminder—They Need a Roadmap

Nurses are often told to care for themselves, yet few are taught how. The Urban Zen Foundation responds to this gap with a practical and nourishing self-care curriculum that blends Eastern healing traditions with Western science—designed by healthcare professionals, for healthcare professionals. This model includes:

• Breathwork to regulate the nervous system

• Restorative movement to release tension

• Aromatherapy to shift emotional states and stimulate the limbic system

• Reiki to restore energetic balance

• Mindfulness practices to create calm and improve focus

These are not just self-care techniques. They are professional survival tools. When nurses are given permission and guidance to nourish themselves, they show up more fully—not only for patients but for their own lives.

Reclaiming Wholeness in a Fragmented System

The burnout crisis in healthcare is not simply about long hours and heavy caseloads—it’s about disconnection. Nurses have been trained to override their own needs for the sake of others. This disconnection from the self is unsustainable. Without intentional practices of reconnection, even the most skilled and passionate caregivers will feel depleted.

Our time in Salt Lake City was a call to action. As healthcare professionals and advocates, we must do more than remind nurses to take care of themselves—we must equip them with the knowledge, experiences, and embodied tools to make that care accessible and sustainable.

What Makes a Relationship Last? Essential Habits of Emotionally Connected Couples

Couples who build emotionally satisfying and long-lasting partnerships often follow a quiet formula—a combination of relational insight, intentional behavior, and consistent effort. These are the couples who don't just survive the ups and downs of life together but thrive in a mutually supportive, emotionally rich dynamic.

At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, I frequently work with individuals and couples who long for deeper connection and harmony in their relationships. The good news is that relationship mastery is not an innate gift—it’s a set of skills that can be developed. According to world-renowned researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman, couples who succeed share key emotional habits and mindsets. They are what the Gottmans call the “masters” of relationships.

Here are key insights on what emotionally intelligent couples avoid—and what they intentionally practice—to create lasting love and connection.

What to Stop Doing in Your Relationship

If you're experiencing repeated conflict, emotional disconnection, or cycles of resentment, it may be time to examine the following unhelpful behaviors:

Stop keeping score
Keeping emotional tallies of who did what leads to resentment and emotional distance. A healthy relationship is not a transaction—it's a partnership based on mutual respect and shared effort. If you feel the load is uneven, bring it up with compassion and clarity using "I" statements instead of blame.

Avoid power struggles and emotional bullying
The need to be right or to win an argument can drain the vitality from your relationship. Consider whether it's worth the emotional toll. If you're pushing your partner to agree with you, or if your tone causes shutdown, try using more effective communication tools. Being right is not the same as being close.

Stop trying to change your partner
Attempts to control, fix, or "improve" your partner often lead to defensiveness and frustration. Instead, work on accepting your partner as they are—or change how you respond to the behaviors that trigger you. If your partner’s actions are harmful or destructive, seek help from a licensed couples therapist to explore boundary-setting and safety.

Don’t judge or dismiss your partner’s emotions
Feelings are not facts, but they are meaningful. When your partner shares emotional content, meet it with curiosity, not correction. You don't have to agree, but validating your partner's experience can open the door to deeper understanding and emotional intimacy.

(by Kim Seelbrede, originally posted on urbanzen.org, Nov 10, 2010)

Mark Hyman, MD Returns to Urban Zen: A Functional Medicine Approach to Reversing Diabesity and Chronic Disease

The Urban Zen Center was honored to welcome back Mark Hyman, MD, a visionary leader in functional medicinewho lovingly refers to Urban Zen as his "second home." On October 30, 2010, a packed studio gathered in the heart of New York City’s West Village for a full-day workshop on one of the most urgent health crises of our time: Diabesity—a metabolic epidemic at the intersection of obesity, insulin resistance, and type 2 diabetes.

Dr. Hyman, a best-selling author and founder of The UltraWellness Center, delivered a compelling, science-backed message: chronic disease is not inevitable—and it is often reversible through lifestyle and systems-based medicine.

Understanding Diabesity: A National Health Crisis

“Diabesity” is the term Dr. Hyman uses to describe a spectrum of metabolic dysfunction that ranges from mild blood sugar imbalances to full-blown type 2 diabetes. And the numbers are staggering:

• Nearly 3 out of 4 Americans are classified as overweight or obese.

• 1 in 3 military volunteers is considered unfit for service due to obesity.

• Children today may be the first generation not expected to outlive their parents.

This epidemic isn’t just a public health concern—it’s been labeled a national security threat by military leaders.

Dr. Hyman challenged us to rethink what we’ve been told about health and disease. The problem, he explained, is not genetic fate or bad luck—it’s the failure of conventional medicine to address the root causes of chronic disease. Instead of masking symptoms, we must treat the whole system. That’s where functional medicine steps in.

Functional Medicine: Treating Root Causes, Not Just Symptoms

Throughout the day, Dr. Hyman introduced key concepts that underpin his functional medicine approach, including:

• Epigenetics & Nutrigenomics: We may carry genes for disease, but lifestyle choices can influence whether those genes are expressed. By addressing nutrient intake, inflammation, and cellular stress, we can “turn down” harmful genes and “turn up” healing ones.

(by Kim Seelbrede, originally posted on Martha Stewart’s wholelivingdaily/wholeliving.org ) Obesity and Diabetes: How to Avoid the Epidemic

Functional Medicine Pioneer Dr. Mark Hyman Speaks at Urban Zen on “Diabesity,” Inflammation, and the Future of Chronic Disease

Last week in the heart of the West Village, the Urban Zen Foundation hosted an inspiring afternoon with functional medicine trailblazer Mark Hyman, MD, who returned to New York to shed light on a fast-growing public health crisis: the epidemic of obesity, insulin resistance, and type 2 diabetes.

Dr. Hyman calls it "Diabesity"—a term he coined to describe the interconnected epidemic of obesity and diabetes that is now affecting nearly 3 out of 4 Americans. His message? Chronic illness is not our destiny. It is, in many cases, reversible—if we stop treating symptoms and begin healing systems.

The Scary Truth: What We’re Really Up Against

By 2050, one in three Americans will be diagnosed with diabetes. But the warning signs begin decades earlier: blood sugar imbalances, high triglycerides, hypertension, insulin resistance, and abnormal cholesterol levels. Left untreated, these symptoms form the foundation of a larger, metabolic breakdown that can lead to:

• Type 2 diabetes

• Heart disease and stroke

• Dementia and Alzheimer’s

• Vision loss and neuropathy

• Cancer

In a moment that visibly quieted the room, Dr. Hyman warned, “Our children may be the first generation who will not outlive their parents.” The answer, he says, lies in functional medicine—a systems-based approach to healthcare that treats root causes, not just symptoms.

Functional Medicine 101: From Dysfunctional To Functional

When a participant asked about genetic predisposition, Dr. Hyman explained that genes are not destiny. Through lifestyle changes, we can influence gene expression in ways that promote vitality and resilience. This cutting-edge field—known as nutrigenomics—studies how food and lifestyle choices impact our DNA and mitochondria, the tiny powerhouses in each cell responsible for energy production.

On a crisp autumn day in the West Village, the Urban Zen Center hosted acclaimed physician and nutrition researcher Dr. Neal Barnard, founder of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. The focus of the event? Winning weight battles, curbing food cravings, and reversing chronic disease through the power of a plant-based diet.

Titled “Winning Weight Battles and Conquering Cravings,” the six-hour workshop offered guests a rich blend of nutrition science, practical strategies, and mouthwatering vegan food demonstrations—all centered on addressing the epidemic of food addiction and the growing burden of lifestyle-related disease in America.

Food Addiction And The Brain: The Science Behind The Cravings

Dr. Barnard explained that common comfort foods—especially cheese, chocolate, meat, and sugar—can trigger addictive responses in the brain. These foods stimulate the release of dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” neurotransmitter, through mechanisms similar to those seen in substance addiction.

When we consume these foods regularly, the brain learns to associate them with reward and pleasure, making it difficult to resist cravings. This neurological loop can lead to overeating, weight gain, insulin resistance, and increased risk for chronic conditions like diabetes, heart disease, and even depression.

According to Dr. Barnard, the food industry, backed by government subsidies and aggressive marketing, capitalizes on this natural craving response—creating a cycle that’s hard to break without intentional dietary change.